Dear Andrew Wilson,
I’m writing to you to tell you that you ROCK! I know most people are crazy about your brothers, Luke and Owen, but that’s because they haven’t discovered you. My fiance, Miles, and I have a new obsession. You! I have even added you as an “interest” on my Facebook profile — that means something.
When we see you on screen, we cheer. When we see your name on screen, we cheer. If we were to meet you, I’m not entirely sure how we’d react. Hopefully I’d have my camera with me, though. I’m sending you this picture…could you autograph it for me? I had to cut Luke out of it…I couldn’t find any good ones of you alone. Your brothers are too clingy.
Your brothers usually have big roles, and your roles are mostly as an extra. I have a hunch this doesn’t upset you. You seem to be the kind of guy who doesn’t need attention, Andy. I can totally respect that. I bet you’re just humoring your brothers and their friend, Wes Anderson. “Sure, I’ll play ‘Farmer Father’ in your next movie.” You’re probably, like, a really successful stockbroker or something and your little brothers come to you begging you to be in their movies. Always wanting your approval. I bet that’s annoying. Hey, you want to be in a Newsbleep episode? Miles has an internet TV show; I bet if you asked him, he’d be OK with it. If you’re lucky, you could probably be a regular. I could just see it: “Newsbleep, starring: Miles Rausch and Andrew Wilson”. (It might be a nice break from your other roles.)
Hey, also, do you want to come to our wedding? I mean, we’ll send you an invitation anyway…but it’d be nice to know if you’re coming now. Then we’ll have something to look forward to that day, Drew.
Anyway, we’re going to watch Idiocracy now. I think that’s the one where you are “Beef Supreme”. I’m excited to see you again. Please write back!
Your biggest fan,
Holli Gregg
October 7th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
Dear Andrew Wilson,
I want you to know that we’re not being sarcastic. Some people would have an Owen Wilson movie marathon. Others, a Luke Wilson movie marathon. We’re having an Andrew Wilson movie marathon! It’s quite too bad that your directorial debut, The Wendell Baker Story, wasn’t at our Mr. Movies for rent. Nor was one of your biggest acting gigs, Church Ball.
There’s not a huge cry for “Andrew Wilson!” in movies these days. I want you to know that I’m in that same boat. I’m not the popular guy that everyone invites to their parties, and I know Holli isn’t either. We’re just average people who have passion for things; just like you. Shine on, you crazy diamond! Keep making movies beautiful!
Your other biggest fan,
Miles Rausch
October 7th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
LOL!!!!!!
This might be the single greatest post in the history of the internet. I hope you guys get Andrew in the next Newsbleep. I heart Andrew Wilson!
October 8th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Do I smell eSip?
October 8th, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Who is Andrew Wilson??? Ok, now I have a better idea, I guess, but I still need to discover him! I hope he does come to your wedding. That will make one more person there that will make me smile. I’m so pumped for your wedding!! Seriously, do we have to wait till January?
October 9th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
I didnt know that the guy excisted. Also, Idiocracy was a dumb movie.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
This post was absolutely awsome! Idiocracy was a really dumb movie.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
[...] No. I cover design, my life, and sometimes make things up. (See Dear Andrew Wilson and No Sarcasm Here…) 4. Who knows that you have a blog? [...]
March 9th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Omg. I’m a big fan of Andrew Wilson myself and all the Wilson boys. I like the movie marathon idea! That’s awesome. I just bought the Wendall Baker story and it’s pretty amazing though I have yet to see idiocracy, I plan too soon! Yay!