Dear Andrew Wilson,

I’m writing to you to tell you that you ROCK! I know most people are crazy about your brothers, Luke and Owen, but that’s because they haven’t discovered you. My fiance, Miles, and I have a new obsession. You! I have even added you as an “interest” on my Facebook profile — that means something.

Andrew Wilson When we see you on screen, we cheer. When we see your name on screen, we cheer. If we were to meet you, I’m not entirely sure how we’d react. Hopefully I’d have my camera with me, though. I’m sending you this picture…could you autograph it for me? I had to cut Luke out of it…I couldn’t find any good ones of you alone. Your brothers are too clingy.

Your brothers usually have big roles, and your roles are mostly as an extra. I have a hunch this doesn’t upset you. You seem to be the kind of guy who doesn’t need attention, Andy. I can totally respect that. I bet you’re just humoring your brothers and their friend, Wes Anderson. “Sure, I’ll play ‘Farmer Father’ in your next movie.” You’re probably, like, a really successful stockbroker or something and your little brothers come to you begging you to be in their movies. Always wanting your approval. I bet that’s annoying. Hey, you want to be in a Newsbleep episode? Miles has an internet TV show; I bet if you asked him, he’d be OK with it. If you’re lucky, you could probably be a regular. I could just see it: “Newsbleep, starring: Miles Rausch and Andrew Wilson”. (It might be a nice break from your other roles.)

Hey, also, do you want to come to our wedding? I mean, we’ll send you an invitation anyway…but it’d be nice to know if you’re coming now. Then we’ll have something to look forward to that day, Drew.

Anyway, we’re going to watch Idiocracy now. I think that’s the one where you are “Beef Supreme”. I’m excited to see you again. Please write back!

Your biggest fan,

Holli Gregg