Holli Rausch

I have officially been unemployed for a month. While half of it I was caught up in the hustle and bustle of the wedding and honeymoon and working on Thank You cards, the rest has been putting the apartment together – 15%, job searching & portfolio/resume changes – 15%, reading – 20%, watching TV – no percentage because it’s on in the background, designing – 8%, trying new recipes – 5%, baking – 2%, running errands – 5%, and going stir-crazy – 30%. Now, after doing what seems like nothing all day, I have been having problems sleeping at night.

I’m longing for routine. I’m bored, restless and lonely. I only get calls in the middle of the day if it’s from a number I don’t know. Frankly, I don’t know if I’d feel like talking if it were any one else anyway. On weekends, Miles wants/needs to relax and even though I’ve done it all week long, I don’t think I’d feel like doing anything else. I have commercials memorized. The living room is a mess (or at least my area of the living room), an unorganized assortment of resumes, labels, Thank You’s, coasters, DVDs, envelopes, stamps, portfolio CDs, cords, etc.

If any of you know me, you should know by the percentage of time I’ve spent reading that something is not normal in my daily life. I know that this will probably be the last time I ever have this kind of time on my hands without a job, baby, or other larger responsibilities to worry about. And yet, it’s really hard to try to enjoy it – in fact, I really don’t enjoy it. And I’m not OK with it. I want to contribute to our income. I want to contribute to a company. I want to have something to do. The only problem is, I want to design. Even though I haven’t spent much time designing in my time off, I am very proud of what I have done. And it’s getting some sort of recognition, as what I’ve designed was for a contest. It hasn’t won anything yet and may not win anything at all, but two of my three designs for the contest were featured on the judge’s blog in an assortment of ones that grabbed her attention.

That gave me the confidence I needed today when I left for the SD Big Job Fair. I was asking nearly every booth “Are you currently looking for a graphic designer?” Of course, nothing design-related really came of the Job Fair because nearly no one in Sioux Falls is looking for graphic designers right now. But I do have a few leads from outside the Job Fair, one of which would mean commuting. If nothing substantial comes soon, I will be taking a job outside of designing. Which, to me, is a shame because why shouldn’t I be able to do what I love and am passionate about?

I know I’m a great designer and I have two years of relevant experience – more than many of my peers have at graduation. Unfortunately, graphic design is a popular degree right now, and no one is leaving their design positions in the area. I’ve been told many times that I’m “in demand” in this town. If that’s true, I wouldn’t know, because so few are hiring – and if they are, they’re looking for people who can be Directors. Not typically a position for recent grads.

I’m going to start sending out my electronic portfolio with my resume. Though my resume gets lots of comments on its originality and strong design qualities, I feel that my portfolio proves that I’m not just designing for class projects and that I do have real world experience and a creative eye, which gives me an edge.

Thanks, faithful readers, for reading this far as I vent about what I’ve needed to vent about for a month. Though I know many of you probably dreaded a long post, as I sometimes do, I appreciate you.

In somewhat related news, I was accepted into a graduate program in Georgia, for studying broadcast design. Miles and I decided we won’t be going – it doesn’t make sense for us to uproot and go to grad school if he has a job he loves. And hopefully I will too, soon. I am considering the option of getting that degree, through the same school, online. It would require some new software, which is – of course – expensive. And since I’m running on my last dollar, we can’t make any commitments right now. But that’s where I’m at.

Also, I finished HP5. Here’s to another 6 months working on reading about The Boy Who Lived.