No sarcasm here…

We went to Marshall this weekend to visit my HS friend Katie and Miles’ brother Bryce and his girlfriend Lindsey. Worst weekend ever. Doesn’t deserve a picture; I didn’t take any anyway. It wasn’t even meanwhile, I mean worthwhile.

First off, Miles and I almost die driving there. I couldn’t see the road for most of the trip and I’m pretty sure I ran over a little kid on the outskirts of Lynd.

After two hours of driving, we finally got there. My entire body was tense and hurts everywhere. We walked in the door and were welcomed by Bryce and Lindsey; I could tell right away that it was going to suck. To top it off, we’d missed 30 minutes of Arrested Development’s two hour finale. I decided to call Katie. Maybe she could save me from this place.

Wrong. She was just as boring. Why did I ever hang out with her in HS? Anyway, I played along with her ho-hum small talk. Hoping to break the ice, Bryce showed me his computer desktop wallpaper. I had created it for him, once-upon-a-time. I didn’t like how it turned out. But I suppose it was a nice gesture for him to display it. He asked me what we should do and I suggested playing Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture 2. It was Bryce and Lindsey vs. Miles, Katie, and myself. I suppose it was an OK time. Bryce kept cracking jokes, and I pretended to laugh so that I at least seemed polite. But none of the jokes were funny. Katie’s friend Lori came over. She didn’t seem to be very boring. But I didn’t get to talk to her much.

Our team didn’t win. I acted like a good sport, but deep down I really wanted to beat them. Hard. We went to bed. Finally, a relief from these horrible horrible people.

Miles was sick and didn’t sleep well. I slept all right, but my body was still extremely tense. We ate lunch at Burger King, where Bryce started counting how many times I rolled my eyes. In the 45 minutes of eating, I rolled them 5 times. This “friendly” counting game continued for the rest of the weekend. If only he had seen how many times I rolled my eyes when my back was to him. Miles told him that I roll them a lot, but I know he was just covering for me. Bryce then took us on a tour of Southwest Minnesota State Univ. And of the Spur office, where he’s the sports editor. He showed us some pictures of himself in a night gown. That was probably the most interesting part of the weekend. He offered to buy me a piece of art that I commented on in a gallery at the school. I am fairly certain he wasn’t serious and was just searching for something to say. I was tempted to tell him I’d like that, just to make things awkward. Anyway, we went back to his apartment and headed to Katie’s. Boring. Then we ate some of Lindsey’s lasagna. It was OK. It at least didn’t seem to be as bad as her chip dip from a week ago.

We went to the basketball game. Nothing exciting there either. Didn’t run into any other HS friends to possibly save me. Mustangs lost, as I expected. I also discovered that I didn’t know where my cell phone was. We went back to his apartment and after a long, drawn out, not funny game of making a list of what to do, we went to rent a movie. It was a non-comedy, non-romantic, non-good movie entitled Red Eye. Also sucked. I tried to fall asleep after the movie, but my body hurt too much. So I read my literature, ugh! I tried sleeping again and succeeded.

When we woke up, Bryce informed us that David had posted. We went to Mass, where Katie was supposed to be waiting for us but wasn’t. There wasn’t enough room for three of us to fit in one pew. So Miles sat behind me and Bryce. Bryce leaned over and said, “At last, we’re alone.” I politely joked back, “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life,” but I hated every minute of it. We went to Katie’s to see what was up, and she was sick.  She slept through her alarm.  My cell phone wasn’t there.  I said goodbye to her.

Miles was too sick to talk. Every time he tried, he started coughing and dying a little. So I became his voice. This meant I had to talk twice as much to Bryce and Lindsey. My lucky day. We ate at Tony‘s favorite Marshall eatery, Mike’s cafe. We played two stupid games, at the suggestion of Bryce, to pass the time. Then I pretended I was sad to be leaving and hugged them good bye. Free at last.

In conclusion, I found my cell phone. It fell out of my pocket in my car. Horrible weekend.