Holli Rausch

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When struggling to write a paper defending one side of an issue for Government class in high school, my dad gave me some advice. He told me that the best debaters know how to argue both sides of the issue. It makes sense. Being able to foresee how the other person sees the issue, can help you in defending your side. I assume it’s a fundamental part of debate. But my school didn’t have debate club, or whatever.

Sometimes, I take the other side of an issue, even if it’s not the one I’d side with. And even if it’s not an issue at all. I do it just for the sake of uncovering the possible problems that may arise. I do it to bring up other points. I frequently wonder if that makes me a pessimist. I don’t think so, though sometimes I *am* pessimistic (just as often as optimistic).

I’d like to think of it mostly as realism. I think people, by nature, are disagreeable. Even if you have what could be considered the greatest idea in the world, someone will have a problem with it. Someone will think they have a better way to do it. Someone will think life was better before your idea was realized. Sometimes, these people will be right. Sometimes, these disagreeable people have the knowledge and capability to make your “greatest idea in the world” into something better.

This way of thinking (pessimistic, realistic, argumentative, whatever you want to call it) brings change. From Blu-Ray discs on our shelf to the mighty mouse on my desk, to the “new” Facebook open in a tab in my browser, to browser tabs. And to the cell phone you might be reading this post on. Everything around us exists because someone thought differently from everyone else around them.

And everything around you right now? Right now, someone’s thinking of a better way to do it.

I’ve done some reorganization. Some of it seemed necessary, some really was OK where it was. But sometimes, I just need a project. And I feel like my life is improved because of it.

1. Laundry Room - I kept looking at the walls in my laundry room and think, “This space could be better utilized.” So I forced my husband to spend way too much of his very little free time to install the shelf on the side of the room. Everything that’s on that shelf was on the floor or a small stool on the floor. I can now actually stand directly in front of the washer. And it is SO nice. Still a couple things on the floor, but totally bearable.

2. Master Bathroom - I purchased this stand and put it together myself (handywoman!) Again, I thought “This space could better be utilized.” We have little storage space in the bathroom, so previously, the towels weren’t in here. Which really doesn’t make much sense.

3. Bedroom - The rubbermaid storage container used to be in the bathroom next to the sink and the things on the bottom shelf of the bathroom stand used to be on top of this in there. This could have still remained in the bathroom, but it seemed to work just as good out here. Most of the things in there were mine anyway and are replacement products that just need to be stored somewhere.

4. Closet - This is my side of the closet. Again, it seemed as though that space could be better utilized. Things on the floor, sweaters piled too high on top so I could only wear a couple of them because they were easier to grab. This rubbermaid container used to be next to my dresser and hold the bathroom towels. Now it holds clothes that don’t need to be hung up but need a place - tank tops, zip-up sweaters, and sweatshirts. Which frees up space on top to more evenly store sweaters and leaves more space in my closet for easier viewing of items.

Feels good!

Happy Anniversary.

Love always,
Your Wife

We had our ultrasound Friday morning and while my uterus was large and there was an egg sac -there was no baby.  I have an anembryonic pregnancy (or blighted ovum) and it basically means I’ve miscarried.

You can Google it if you want. Basically, we conceived but the embryo in the fertilized egg stopped growing at some point and was reabsorbed very early (possibly even before we knew we were pregnant).  It’s actually considered “common” and it is usually caused by several chromosomal abnormalities and the body knows it won’t produce a healthy baby in 9 months and naturally reabsorbs the tissue. It typically isn’t caught until between weeks 8 and 13 - we are in week 12.  And my body continues to think there’s an embryo there because there’s still the placental tissue that is requiring nutrients from my body and producing the pregnancy hormones - which is why all our tests come back positive and I still am experiencing the symptoms of pregnancy.  I never had any indication that something was wrong, and still don’t except for seeing my empty uterus during the ultrasound.  Eventually my body will go through the process of miscarriage.  But I also have the options to take medication to speed along the process, or undergo an invasive procedure.

One thing the doctor was very clear on is that anembryonic pregnancies happen by chance and that it does not make me at risk for miscarriages in future pregnancies or for it to happen again for any other reason than by chance.  So we feel thankful for a silver lining like that.  But it’s also hard to feel thankful.

Miles and I just came home and cried and prayed a lot. I don’t know if I’ll stop crying. Right now, it comes and goes and I’m glad it’s the weekend and don’t have any commitments. We feel very sad - the amount of my tears is not proportionate to the sadness I feel. And I want those tears to take some of the sadness away.

Though we won’t this summer, we hope to be blessed with children soon.

You can read Miles’s thoughts on his post, Godspeed, Our Sweet Angel on his blog.

I know words of comfort are sometimes hard to come up with. We just ask that you pray for all families - those who have experienced loss in any way and for those who haven’t yet. If you want to comment just to let us know you’re thinking of us, you don’t have to say anything. Or maybe you could post a Bible verse or something else that brings you comfort.